Monday, May 11, 2009

Kids and Old People Have All the Luck!

I've always told my family that I can't wait to get old because people over sixty can pretty much get away with anything they want, but I realized the other day that little kids have it pretty great as well. Here is my explanation why both groups really have all the luck:

KIDS
-it's acceptable to strip down to nothing but your underwear and run in your sprinklers in the front yard when it's hot outside
-people think it's cute when you say ridiculous things
-if you fall asleep somewhere someone will either cover you up or carry you to a bed
-if you look dirty or unkempt it's a reflection on your parents, nobody blames you
-if church is boring you just have to make enough noise, and someone will take you outside
-daily nap time
-fast food play places and summer camps
-since no one wants to wait for you to walk from point A to point B, and your legs would get too tired anyway, you get pushed around in a stroller or cart
-wearing a cape or a tutu to the grocery store will have all of the other kids jealous and the adults gushing over how cute you look
-you feel great in a swim suit

SENIOR CITIZENS
-if you strip down to next to nothing and water your front lawn, your neighbors will just assume you are slightly senile
-you can say pretty much whatever you want, and people will excuse it because you are old and probably a little crazy
-daily naps
-you can live in exclusive communities that are not all that different from summer camp, where they have organized activities all the time like bingo and water aerobics
-since no one wants to wait for you to walk from point A to point B, and your legs would get too tired anyway, you get to drive around one of those cool little scooters
-if you are dirty or unkempt it's probably because either you're crazy or you're kids don't take good care of you... it's not your fault
-you can go to the salon and get your hair styled once a week, and never touch it in between
-if you go to the grocery store wearing something ridiculously sequined, a large decorated hat or anything with huge floral print all of the other old people will be jealous and the clerk will probably comment on how nice you look
-you couldn't care less what you look like in a bathing suit

I guess being old and being young actually have some striking resemblences, the unfair thing is, right now as a twenty five year old, I would love to do pretty much anything on either one of these lists. Unfortunately, for some reason, people just wouldn't find it socially acceptable. So I'll say it one more time, Kids and Old People have all the luck!!